JUNE 13, 2025 • ISSUE 15

The Filtered Life: What Gets Left Out

How goes it, Reader?

Something hit me yesterday that I wasn’t expecting, so I decided to use it to theme this week’s newsletter.

It started with a question on a podcast: “Is it okay to use fitness as a filter when dating?” It seemed harmless enough at first. But I’ve been on the other side of that filter. I’ve read profiles that say, “must take health seriously,” and felt my chest tighten. Not because I disagree, but because I have lived seriously. I have coached, I have changed, and I have built a life around health. And somehow, I still do not always fit the picture some people have in their heads.

That is where this week’s journal came from. And here is the wild part. While I was writing that piece, something else happened. A journal I wrote two weeks ago quietly became the highest-ranking post I have ever had: Scaling CrossFit. I didn’t think that one would be the one to take off. But maybe it makes sense. Because it is not really about workouts. It is about belonging. It is about who gets to be here. It is about the walls we build without meaning to, and the people who climb them anyway.

So in this issue, I am talking about filters. The ones we hide behind. The ones we enforce. The ones I am trying to break down. You will find reflections on rejection, being mislabeled, and how we love people; badly or beautifully. I also included a new recipe that breaks the meal rules, some thoughts from the edit cave, and a few things that made me smile this week.

In this weeks newsletter:

Fitness as a filter: the journal I didn’t plan to write. Part 1 set it up. Part 2 got real.
Scaling stole the spotlight. Scaling stole the spotlight. My most-shared post yet reminded me that what we call “basic” is still not the standard.
All the things: 260 pounds down, L3 study mode, Forged by Grace edits, food rules smashed, filters exposed, and one challenge to check your bias before it checks someone else.

When Fitness Becomes a Filter And When It Becomes a Front

It started with a question: “Is it okay to use fitness as a filter when dating?”
But the deeper I sat with it, the more it unraveled. Because I’ve been on both sides of that filter. I’ve defended values. I’ve set standards. But I’ve also read dating profiles that said “must take health seriously” and felt something inside me clench.

Part 1 set the stage, Part 2 gets even more personal. It’s about being filtered out even when you’ve done the work.

This isn’t just about dating. It’s about gyms. Coaching. Belonging... all the things.

Read Part 1

Bonus Spotlight: Scaling CrossFit: What You Say Matters More

I didn’t expect this one to hit as hard as it did. But Scaling CrossFit turned out to be the highest-ranking post I’ve ever written. I'm not certain, but I think I know why.

Because when we talk about filters, we’re also talking about barriers. Who gets the real experience? And who quietly disappears because the system never made room for them to begin with?

Read It

Now that you've read that...

🤔 QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

Where in your life do you feel like you're being measured by someone else’s filter?
Have you ever assumed someone wasn’t “ready” or “healthy” based on looks alone?
What do your words (spoken or unspoken) signal to others about who belongs?

GIVE IT A GO

Consider these questions to kickstart journaling this week or explore your thoughts more intentionally

🏆 YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK

Call yourself out; gently, but honestly. Whether it’s in how you date, coach, train, or hire...ask yourself who you’ve unconsciously filtered out. Then take one step to widen the lens. It doesn’t have to be public. It just has to be real.

KEEP IN MIND

This isn’t a takedown, it's just truth telling.

Hit reply and share your wins or ask me a question - I might feature it here, but don't worry, your name stays between us.

✅ BEAN BITES (TAKEAWAYS)

This week:

Filters can protect us but they can also blind us.
Fitness isn’t a look; it’s a lived experience.
You can be misunderstood and still be right about who you are.
Worth isn’t scalable. It’s inherent.

❓SPILL THE BEANS: QUESTION(S) OF THE WEEK

"Am I missing your updates?"

LOL, I don’t know are you?

I mostly share the updates in my Instagram stories, so if you’re not watching those, yeah... you might be missing a few things. But don’t worry. We’re still cooking along.

Here’s where I’m at:
260 pounds lost so far.

Still here. Still showing up. Still moving forward.

🫘 COOL BEANS - NO FILTER FRITTATA

This one’s for the people who are over food rules. It’s bold, nutrient-packed, and my breakfast or snack go-to.

Ingredients

6 eggs
¾ cup chopped spinach
½ cup cooked ground turkey or sausage
⅓ cup shredded zucchini
¼ cup diced onion
Salt, pepper, garlic powder
Optional: goat cheese or dairy-free alternative

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375°F. Whisk eggs and seasonings together. Mix in the rest. Pour into a greased muffin pan or small casserole dish. Bake 20–25 mins until firm.

☕ FRESHLY BREWED: WHAT I'M READING, WATCHING, OR THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE THESE LAST TWO WEEKS

Forged by Grace - is in deep edit mode. I’m tired, but the fire is still burning. Hoping for a late summer, early fall release. Hey, do you have the playlist?
Studying for my Level 3 - has officially become part of the daily grind. I’ve been carving out an hour or two every day just to stay focused. I’m not the best test taker, so we’re adjusting the strategy, not the goal. Sharp mind, steady pace.
Birthday weekend was lovely - thank you for all the messages. My house is literally bubbling with floral arrangements in every room. Hydrangeas and roses in the dining room. Roses and eucalyptus in the kitchen. Peonies in the living room. Talk about heaven?